Updated: Feb 7, 2019
Finding quality premarital books can be a challenge. So, we’ve compiled a list of 8 books every premarital couple should read before tying the knot. You can even use some as premarital counseling books.
Learning as much as possible about marriage before you walk down the aisle is most important. Reading a book provides you with glimpses of what marriage will be like and proposes important questions every premarital couple should consider before walking down the aisle. Here are 8 books we recommend reading before getting married. We’ve also added a little WAR insight to help guide you.
1. The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
This book outlines five ways to express and experience love which Chapman refers to as "love languages". The five love languages are receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch. While you and your significant other can take a quick assessment online, we recommend you read the book as well to understand the entirety of each language. By understanding your language, you will begin to understand how you and your betrothed interpret love. This will help each of you meet each other’s deepest emotional needs and avoid misunderstandings. We’ve all heard couples argue about how they feel like the other doesn’t love them enough. This book will help prevent arguments like this.
2. His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard E. Harley, Jr.
This should come as no surprise. Men and women have radically different priorities,especially in terms of the emotions each likes to feel and express! Dr. Harley offers insights into the intimate emotional needs of husbands and wives to help you affair-proof your marriage. In this book, you’ll learn how to sustain romance, love more creatively and sensitively, deepen your awareness of each other year after year, and overcome marital conflicts.
3. Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerich
“We believe love best motivates a woman and respect most powerfully motivates a man. Research reveals that during marital conflict, a husband most often reacts unlovingly when feeling disrespected, and a wife reacts disrespectfully when feeling unloved. We asked 7,000 people the following question, ‘When you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected?’ Of the sample, 83 percent of men said ‘disrespected’ and 72 percent of the women said ‘unloved.’ Though we all need love and respect equally, the need differs during conflict, and this difference is as different as pink is from blue!” This excerpt comes from Dr. Eggerich himself, and we couldn’t agree more! You’ve heard us say that “Good couples never have conflict. Great couples have conflict and handle it well.” Conflict is inevitable, but most couples prefer to ignore it and let it fester. This is a mistake and leaves both of you feeling unhappy. In short, mastering the techniques discussed in this book will make you conflict champions and enrich your relationship.
4. Covenant Marriage by Dr. Gary Chapman
This is a great book for Christian couples looking for premarital advice. Covenant Marriage encourages Christians to exercise the promises and expectations of God's covenant love in marriage. You see, marriage is not a contract. It is a covenant. (More on this distinction to come!) Practicing covenant marriage means couples must offer each other steadfast loyalty, forgiveness, empathy, and commitment when resolving conflict so as to encourage each other in spiritual growth.
5. Debt Proof Your Marriage by Mary Hunt
Money issues could cost your marriage a pretty penny if you’re not careful. With this book, you and your love will learn to reconcile different spending behavior and beliefs and learn the basics of practical money management, the secret to controlling a roller-coaster income and how to successfully live debt-free. Protect your money, and you will protect your relationship! If you haven’t already, be sure to listen to Jim and Teresa talk money, as they discuss their financial storm after the 2008 economic crisis and came out stronger than ever.
6. Kingdom Woman: Embracing Your Purpose, Power & Possibilities by Tony Evans and Chrystal Evans Hurst
Not knowing who you are can harm your marriage. Some couples think that getting marriage will make them whole. But that is not the case. If you go into marriage with this mentality, you will be disappointed in yourself and in your husband because you are expecting him to fulfill roles in your life that are God’s. Learn who you are in Christ with this book and put your identity in Him, not in a man. “A kingdom woman gives the devil as much reason to fear as a kingdom man. She lives confidently in the knowledge that Christ died and rose for her so that she can experience the significance of the destiny to which she has been called.” In Kingdom Woman, Tony Evans and his daughter, Chrystal Evans Hurst, remind women of their calling from God to be free, delivered, healed, and hopeful. The authors bring insight that encourages women to correct distorted perceptions and understand who they really are in Christ.
7. Kingdom Man: Every Man's Destiny, Every Woman's Dream by Tony Evans
This is the male version of The Kingdom Woman, and I offer the same remarks when it comes to the importance of rooting your identity in Christ. Tony Evans challenges men to recognize and claim the standard of greatness that God has set forth in His Word. You will learn what it means to be a kingdom man who accepts responsibility for his domain of influence. Stand your ground, and claim your destiny as God's Kingdom Man.
8. Marriage: What To Do Before And After You Say 'I Do' by Jim and Teresa Adams
Okay, okay we might be a little biased with this one. But our book really is great for couples looking to get married. It is the most comprehensive marriage book on the market, covering communication, conflict, sex, parenting, etc. There is a definite process that you can follow to ensure relationship success. It’s not easy, and it doesn’t come naturally, but once you discover the process, you will find that marriage is an amazing experience, well beyond your wildest imaginations! We promise that if you will embrace and apply the principles Jim and Teresa share in their book, you will see amazing improvements in yourself and in your relationship, leading to a healthier and happier marriage.
Thanks so much for reading! Need more help? Schedule a Strategy Session for your relationship today! We are here to help. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tips and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for encouragement. Until next time!